The prospect of divorce is something that may put those involved in a highly emotional state for many different reasons. The investment that all parties put in from both an emotional and financial perspective can make the process feel as if everything is on the line. In these instances where the divorcing couple has to deal with so many complex and important issues, it can be easy to feel like divorce is a must-win game of assets, child custody, and more.
However, a recent column from Forbes on facing divorce serves as a stark reminder that the divorce process isn't about "winning" per se. In fact, the contributor argues, both parties can often feel like they lost in a way - which is, of course, perfectly normal. In any divorce, even those involving a high amount of assets, a limit on the resources exists. Both parties are going to walk away with something. Thus, it is important to keep in mind the totality of what is at stake and prepare responsibly for post-divorce life.
To start, the author suggests asking one's self a number of questions. Some are focused on the emotional side - are decisions being made based on a certain feeling, or is logical analysis playing a crucial role? Others are more transactional, such as do the parties understand what debts they have? There are additional inquiries when kids are involved, and their input is vitally important. Getting a sense of where the parties stand and where they want to go can help ease that "losing" feeling and setup everyone for the best possible resolution.
In any divorce, it is important to understand one's limits as well and seek help where it is possible. From a legal perspective, that means working with an experienced attorney. Although the divorce process is never something to look forward to, a logical approach taken with all the necessary information can ease the "loss" and ensure a brighter future.